Brittany S. Pierce: words to live by.

I love Glee. I am a gleek. but my favorite thing about Glee isn't the musical numbers, or that it's bringing theatre to the masses. It's Heather Morris' character Brittany S. Pierce. She is the highlight of my week, the writers have created a goldmine in her, and i adore every backwards retarded statement she makes. Here are some of my favorites from season one and two :)

Mr. S - can anyone tell me what a ballad is?

B - a male duck

so, Hairography. It works best when you pretend like you're getting tasered. So you just move your head around and pretend like you're spazzing and stuff. You guys, it's like cool epilepsy.

S - Sex is not Dating.

B - if it were, Santana and I would be dating.

S - I'm pretty sure you have to do what we say, and this was not satisfactory.

B - There was a mouse in mine.

Sometimes I forget my middle name.

Did you know that Dolphins are just gay sharks?

When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist.

Guess who I'm dating, Wes Brody, he's super cute, he plays soccer with my sister, he's seven.

Sometimes i add a teaspoon of sand.

I'm pretty sure my cat has been reading my diary.

I've been here since first period. I had a cold and took all my antibiotics at the same time, and now I can't remember how to leave.

I don't know how to turn on a computer.

So you're pretty much the only guy in this school that I haven't made out with, because I thought you were captial G Gay, but now that you're not, having a perfect record would mean a lot to me. So, let me know if you want to tap this.

You look terrible. I look awesome.

People thought I went on vacation but actually, I spent the summer lost in the sewer.

She is the one they made me talk to when they found out I was keeping that bird in my locker.

I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist.

this room looks like the one on that spaceship where I got probed.

I hope you will all respect that I want Glee club to remain a place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears.

Please don't pull out my teeth. When I smile I'll look like an adult baby, but with boobs.

The roads to the north pole are getting treacherous... even the smallest envelope is heavy for an elf.

To be honest I don't know the difference between an elf and a slave.

High School Musical

This spring I will be costume designing High School Musical. That's right folks I said it, I am designing Disney's High School Musical for SBC. I had never watched any of the films till Monday when I got the email that do to issues with the rights we would not be doing "The King and I" as planned. I immediately went out and got the films and sat down to watch all three (which was quite a task let me tell you). I gotta say, the material isn't over whelming, and award winning it is not; but I am actually a little excited. The characters are so generic; the handsome jock, the smart girl, the bitchy diva, the overly fem pretty boy, the pushy smart girl, the wall flower. I can basically do what ever I want as far as costume wise. As long as it's right for the character, I'll be fine. So get ready folks because HSM is getting done my way.

After watching all 3 films, i began researching, and getting ideas. As soon as i decided to throw out the film concepts and create my own, I was in business, the ideas were flowing. For inspiration I'm gonna look from some of the entertainment worlds most brilliant versions of high school and college life: Clueless, Heathers, Jawbreaker, Legally Blonde, Mean Girls, Never Been Kissed, She's All That, Can't Hardly Wait, 10 Things I Hate About You, Saved By the Bell, 90210, Popular, and Glee. All of these pieces captured a generation, and are considered iconic for their portrayal of high school. I'm also gonna pull some inspiration from Britney Spears' classic music video "Baby One More Time", because let's face it, who didn't see that video and want to go to that school. I want to create an over the top theatrical version of high school, it's not going to look the way the kids normally dress, it's gonna be an enhanced reality. That is what the theatre is, or in my opinion what it should be.

I think of all the characters I am most excited for Ryan and Sharpay Evans, they are the Reigning thespians at the school, and the villains of this little diddy. They are over the top, and completely ridiculous, and I am going to go as outrageous as I can. Sharpay is typically portrayed as a Bitchy Barbie doll, but that's not quite good enough for me, I want to take it to the next level. So I am going to make her the love child of a Barbie, and a super villain. Think lots of exaggerated silhouettes, blacks and metallics, and mix them with fuchsia. I want her to have a bad ass leather and lace kind of vibe. When i was reading up on Ryan, the costumer for the third film said she focused on fashion trends for him, so I am gonna do the same, but focus on grittier designers like Alexander McQueen, Marc Jacobs, Calvin Klein, and Gaultier. I want to even pull some inspiration from Karl Lagerfeld himself. I want Ryan to look high fashion, but not in such a prancy preppy way. I think the two of them together are gonna look so intense next to a more wholesome cast, i really want them to look like villains.

as the weeks progress, i'll give you guys updates on the whole process. I am so excited to share it with everyone, and see how the production grows and changes to it's final version.

xo KS

Katy Perry is my Teenage Dream

I have always had a love for KP, I think she's swell. She kissed a girl, and I liked it (that's right I took it there). There is just something about her that is so fresh and adorable. I think she handles herself so well, I mean even in when she got booted off of Sesame Street because her segment was brought to us by the letter DD, she still ended up coming off as being awesome. I also really like her with Russle Brand, as soon as i heard that the two of them were dating I was like "ugh heavenly!" But seriously, even though she bounds around in wack-tackular outfits, wheres colored wigs, and has an obsession with fruit, I just love her. Ok so i love her because of those things, and not in spite of them. But be honest, those are some bomb ass obsessions.

Her second EP Teenage Dream was amazing, it was my album of the summer even though it came out in late august. "California Gurls" was an inspiration, it is constantly stuck in my head. My six year old god daughter knows all the lyrics, and is constantly correcting people when they sing them wrong (I know it's adorable)! The candyland inspired video, and performances that followed were sic. I haven't been that inspired by a video since Gwen Stefani's "What You Waiting For". then came title track "Teenage Dream", I think this could be one of her best songs yet. why you ask? because there are no gimicks. i love that it's just a good song about losing your virginity. I also liked that she didn't do a "concept" video, the video doesn't out shine the song, it enhances it. The rest of the album is just as good, this is an album i can listen to from start to finish and never skip a song. "The One that Got Away" is the song Taylor Swift has been trying to write for three albums now. "Last Friday Night" is a fun romp that reminds me of my youth back in NYC. "Not Like the Movies" is simple and gorgeous, and really showcases KP's writing ability beautifully.

Now to talk about "Firework" her latest single. I love a good anthem as much as the next gay, but KP gave us good one, literally she gave it to us. The song is dedicated to the LGBQT community, and those that have been affected by bullying and hate crimes. The video is beautifully shot, and showcases people of all different minorities and prejudices facing adversity and finding strength. I hope every teenager gay or not watches this video and listens to this song, and realize that not only are they not alone, but you don't need anyone else, you are strong enough and can face anything if you choose too.

Now because it is her new single, and it has a strong message KP has been singing this song all over town to anyone who will hear it (and good for her) Sadly some of these performances haven't been exactly award winning. Her AMAs performance was painful to be honest. It was over done, and had pitch problems. Many online petitions were posted begging her to stop playing "find the key" in front of millions of viewers. So what did Katy do, instead of hiding, She came out to the Victoria Secret Fashion Show and rocked the effing house! Seriously god bless her, she sang her face off, and sounded amazing.

She also looked amazing, I've always been a fan of her over the top style, i think there is something cheeky about the way she always looks like it's halloween or she's at the most awesome theme party ever. Tonight was no exception, the costume designer part of me got so excited by her purple confection that I exploded into a ball of glitter. Her second outfit, a yellow latex dress covered in hearts was also totally adorable. In fact I am loving her current obsession with latex dresses too. Her pink carpet look was also stunning, and perfectly suited for Vicky Secrets. In conclusion i would like to thank her for making it up to us for sucking ass at the AMAs. i would also like to state that her costumes were effing brilliant as always, and i would like to be able to sit inside her head and watch her dreams, i think it be a trip.

xo - KS

thankfull

This was emailed to me by a former student, she is turning this paper in for her English class. i feel so honored and blessed to have been given the chance to make such an impact on her. it is times like this, and moments like these that let me know i have made the right choices in my life. words can't describe how this made me feel.

Two minutes and forty-two seconds. Two minutes and forty-two seconds was all it took to change everything I believed in. I never thought a song about love would teach me so much about the topic, and I certainly did not expect for it to mean anything when it did not apply directly to me. It was not the beat, or the volume, or necessarily even the lyrics at the time, but that song taught me everything I now know. There are beautiful moments in life you can not explain, and somehow, a song is magical enough to change everything about you.

I sat on the all too familiar cold cafeteria floor as I watched my teacher sing what I now believe to be one of the most powerful songs in musical theatre. At the start, we were just continuing a routine. It was fun to sit on the floor, fun to hear people sing. It was really our first opportunity as freshman to see our teachers do not only what they love, but what they taught us daily. The Teacher’s Cabaret was prepared very last minute, so not everyone showed up to showcase their talents. Mr. Messmer was sick, and pulled out songs that he was capable of singing despite his illness. One of the songs was from Avenue Q, and was entitled “There’s a Fine, Fine Line.” At first, it was just another song to be sung, and I knew that after roughly three minutes we would be on to the next one, with no major recollection of what had happened. A few claps, cheers, and that would be that. I was wrong.

As Mr. Messmer sang the lyrics “there’s a fine, fine line between love, and a waste of your time” something told me that I needed to turn to Kirk. I have no idea what made me do so, but those mere seconds taught me that, as un-poetic as it sounds, love is love. I suddenly had no idea what I had been doing the past years of my life. I had no idea what made me pass judgment on others because of who they loved. Suddenly, the thought seemed incomprehensible. There was my amazing teacher, singing this heart wrenchingly beautiful song, as the man that loved him stood up against the cutout door of the place that had become my home. There was no acting involved. I knew the feeling was genuine love, and I immediately learned what love looked like.

“There’s a fine, fine line, between a fairytale, and a lie.” As my freshman year ended, and sophomore year began, I was cast in a show where I got to sing, and I was thrilled. I had learned how powerful a song could be, and to have the opportunity to improve upon something I never thought I would be good at was amazing. Of course, Kirk was there the whole way. I then got cast in Memoirs of a Fairytale, an amazing opportunity and blessing. I was cast with people I considered amazing singers; people I thought I would never be grouped with. I was so excited every day that Kirk came in with a new costume, and thrilled beyond imaginable every time I got to step onto our makeshift stage at school. I had learned from that two minutes and forty-five seconds and my work in the shows that I wanted to do musicals. Singing was my only escape from the world I lived in, and I was given access to my heaven on earth. I know knew that singing had the power to change a life, and I was getting to learn how to do so with the two people who changed mine.

“There’s a fine, fine line between you’re wonderful, and goodbye.” At the start of the summer, I went Mac’s Old House with my parents and Alexis. We were eating our salads when out of no where Alexis learned over to me and whispered “you know Mr. Messmer and Kirk broke up, right?” I did not know. I also, very clearly, did not know how to react. I could not figure out what to say, or do, I just knew that I wanted to cry. I could not. Not at the restaurant. A few tears came, but I did not allow anything more. My mother then went on to tell me Kirk’s going away dinner was that night. I was hit with another blow. This person that taught me more in two minutes than anyone had in fifteen years would be out of my life in less than twenty-four hours. It was the worst feeling in the world. When she asked if we wanted to go, I did not allow Alexis to answer. I answered “yes.” I was not letting my very sudden goodbye be taken away from me. We went to dinner, and I had fun, and when it was over, I cried. I was afraid that I would not get to see him again. Luckily, I had one last chance to see Kirk before he left, and was able to say a more formal goodbye outside of Starbucks. I cried more than I did at the restaurant. I cried more than I did after the dinner at Melo’s. I cried when I hugged him. I cried when I got in the car. I cried when I got home. I did not care if crying was the wrong thing to do, I was done with caring about people’s opinions, after all, I had been blindly deceived by them until that cabaret night. Kirk assured me that it was only goodbye until next time, but I did not know how I was expected to function alone.

“You got to go after the things you want while you’re still in your prime.” In the time since freshman year, I have been involved with the GSA, with plans to rejoin Deer Valley’s after Winter Break. I have this amazing idea for a dance that involves a medley of influential songs to protest against discrimination that will hopefully be showcased some time in the future. I have events I want to attend, opinions I want to influence, taunting I want to speak out against, activism I want to participate in, and ultimately, a dream of equality that I want to become reality. Had I stayed the ignorant, closed minded person I was my freshman year of high school, I would have silenced a big dream I have. I also would have turned away those that have become my closest friends.

I walked in freshman year clearly set in voting “yes” on Prop 8 for our mock ballots. It was what I had been taught by my parents and those around me, and I followed it without question. I do not know what happened, but something about seeing a teacher that I worked so closely with, and that I looked up to, do what he loves, with the one he loved, had the power to change who I was. I really never thought that anything that happened during a song would hit me so hard, and teach me so much, by completely flipping my world around and teaching me more than I ever expected to learn. It was the first time I shed away any regard of what people told me to believe, and truly noticed that I had opinions of my own, and that I understood what I believed to be “right” as just that: right. At first, when I learned that Kirk was leaving, I was extremely afraid. I was afraid there were more things I needed to learn from him, and he needed to be near by. I now believe I was wrong about that too. I still learn a lot from him every day, but I know that the work he is doing now can also influence the life of an impressionable child. He is where he needs to be, and I was blessed to have had him in my life while I did. In one look, something that I am sure seemed so basic to him, supporting the man he loved, changed my life, and I am sure he will change many more. I have learned that I do not care what the church, or my parents, tell me to believe. In the end, love is love, and if I get condemned for believing that, well, it is a chance I am more than willing to take. I have learned to form my own opinions, and stand by them as the strong, determined, young woman I am becoming. In just several measures of a song, the door was opened to give me the life I want to have. For that, I am more thankful than words can possibly begin to express.

Rapunzel: "Tangled" mess She is not...

"Tangled" is Disney's version of the classic tale Rapunzel. The screenplay is brilliant, it was a traditional fairy tale that could easily sit next to some of Disney's classic films like Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beast; but it was also smart, and witty and just as enjoyable and relatable to the adult audience. Fairy tales should be relatable, they were originally told by parents to children to teach them a lesson, to teach them morals. The Disney version teaches us a different lesson then the traditional tale, it teaches us about self worth, keeping your word, and believing in yourself. it teaches us about trying to achieve something and chasing after your dreams, and your destiny.

Can we be candid here. I hope we can be. I loved this movie. loved. loved. loved. But seriously, this whole movie was a metaphor for losing your virginity; and a brilliant metaphor it was. Mandy Moore's Rapunzel is a perfect picture of adolescent virtue, just on the cusp of being a women and trying to figure out where she belongs in a world she has never seen. When she finally escapes from her prison to see the floating lights up close for the first time, she sings "When Will My Life Begin" and proudly belts

"I could go running and racing and dancing and chasing and leaping and bounding, hair flying, heart pounding, and splashing and reeling and finally feeling now's when my life begins!"

Mandy perfectly captures the young girl taking a chance for the first time, even the slight lisp is perfect, and totally genuine. When Rapunzel explains her feelings to Flynn;

Rapunzel - " I've been looking out my window for eighteen years, dreaming about what it might feel like when the lights rise into the sky, what if it's not everything i dreamed it would be?"

Flynn - "it will be."

Rapunzel - "and what if it is, what do I do then?"

Flynn - "You find a new dream."

There is something so perfect about that moment, and it's because we've all been there. We've all had that chance where we either dive right in, or we hesitate, but is it worth the risk of disappointment? and she's right if it is everything we had imagined, what do we do once it's over. you find a new dream.

Rapunzel's captor is an over bearing Mother Gothel, who tells her the only way she will be safe, is if she stays with her. In the song "Mother Knows Best" she warns Rapunzel

"Mother knows best. take it from mumsy. On your own you wont survive, sloppy immature, under dressed, and clumsy. Please, they'll eat you up alive!"

Yet we, as the audience, know that she is the one Rapunzel has to fear, and she keeps her prisoner not by the tower, not by magic, not by getting rid of all the doors and exits. She keeps her a prisoner through fear, she puts her down, and belittles her, to the point where Rapunzel doesn't believe in herself, or her abilities. Gothel constantly berates Rapunzel, telling her not to mumble and calling her slow and weak and dumb. she even still uses this method to get her to eventually come back to the tower with her, preying on her insecurities she tells her that once she has served her purpose for Flynn, he will leave her; then she goes to great lengths to make her think that that is exactly what happens. What's almost more frightening is that that is what most real kidnappers do, they convince their victims that they are the only ones who love them, and can care for them, and the rest of the world will never understand them. it also makes the moment that Rapunzel stands up to her truly empowering. When she finally realizes that she is a strong independent women and the only thing she has ever needed to fear was Gothel herself it is a beautiful moment.

I am glad that Disney made a film like this. my god-daughter just turned six, and she like most six year olds love princesses and Disney, and I am glad that in a world of Miley Cyrus, Ke$ha, and Rihannas I can still count on Disney to create a role model for her to look up too. I'm glad that Disney isn't trying to compete with the Shrek franchise, by adding fart jokes, and crude humor, and instead sticking to their roots. I hope that this film is successful so that they continue to make quality films that I can show my children, because lets be honest, I was getting worried.

The Most Generic Girl (in the World)

Now I know I am gonna get a lot of hate for this; but, what the eff happened to Rihanna? "Good Girl Gone Bad" was an album of EPIC proportions, I could listen to that album from start to finish, and not skip a track. She cut off all her generic honey tresses and went for a sleek bob. I was in love. Umbrella was the song of the summer, and she was churning out video after inspiring video. In interviews she talked about how she was coming into her own as an artist and a performer and trying new things and taking risks, and I believed her. She said how she idolized Madonna, and i thought finally they are going to stop marketing her as the next Beyonce (because lets face it, i heart the girl I do but that's a promise her vocal cords can not keep) Now after having finally sat down and listened to Loud, I am sad to be honest. Is it good, yeah; but, it's also generic as hell. Every time i hear "only girl in the world" I get it confused with a Kelly Rowland song, and California King Bed (which hits just as close to home, i need those lyrics like i need this hole in my heart) could be sung by anyone. she doesn't bring anything special to the table. my favorite song on the album is actually "Love the Way You Lie part 2" the follow up to the duet she did on Eminem's album; and I don't know how i feel about her singing those lyrics considering what Chris Brown did to her face and her mind two years ago the night before the Grammys. Riri may love the way you lie, and she's managed to turn it into a gut wrenching power ballad (feel free to cover it Gaga, hell feel free to cover it Beyonce) but between you and me the way you lie makes you a D-bag. i had hope that her first successful song post face bashing was going to be about female empowerment, and instead we got the anthem for hate sex. Not only that but the album is almost overly sexual to the point where it's not sexy, the lyrics aren't even ironic. In "Only Girl (in the World)" she asks you to take her like a thief in the night... excuse me, does that not sound like a red flag to you, and how do those lyrics match up with a song about making a girl feel special? In the opening track "S&M" she tries to make me believe she is a strong and daring woman, and uses such convincing lyrics as "sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me"... again seriously, that's the message you wanna send out to young girls, your boyfriend beat the sense out of you, and all of your singles following have either been about dysfunctional relationships or they are about sex so nasty Miss Jackson blushed. I guess the thing that really bothers me about Rihanna is that with "Good Girl Gone Bad" I thought I was seeing an artist emerge, I had expected her to grow with each album prior. instead she has become a product created for the charts, and brought to you by her label.

Design 2010

When I was in college I went to the head of the design department at my school, and I said, I really want to be a costume designer. She told me it would be a lot of work, and then she asked me what do you want to design? I said I've always wanted to do Cabaret, Beauty and the Beast, Into the Woods, something like Moulin Rouge. She chuckled a little, and said that's already been done, what do YOU want to do. I had no answer. At first I was a little put off by that statement, but looking back on it, it is the wisest thing anyone has ever said to me. With each show I take on I try to not look at the preconceived notions of a play or a musical, i research every possible source of inspiration and try to find inspiration in the most unlikely places. In the end the show i design is never a version of someone else's vision, it is my own. The last year has been such an amazing year for me as a designer, looking back on all the shows I have done, I have gotten to truly spread my wings. I have worked with so many wonderful collaborators who have pushed me and helped me to find my voice as a designer. I've been blessed with audiences that have loved my vision and my ideas. It is a truly wonderful feeling to have people appreciate your art. So without further ado, a design recap of 2010.

GASLIGHT

My first production with the Hapgood Theatre Company, also my first production working with the very talented Josy Miller. Gaslight was so much fun for me, but how could I not love a gothic victorian murder mystery? For Gaslight I looked at the gothic master Tim Burton, i drew a lot of inspiration from Sleepy Hollow, and Corpse Bride. i also looked at films like Sin City, 300, and the Spirit for their use of color and shadows. Gaslight was nominated for a 2010 Shellie award for best costume design of a play, and I couldn't be more proud of it.

Memoirs of a Fairytale

an original tribute that was put together in collaboration with Jeremy Messmer for the Delta Academy for the Performing Arts. We wanted to create a production that was fun and engaging, something that kids would want to be in, and that kids would want to see. This was my third collaboration with Jeremy, and I really feel it was our strongest. We looked at sixty to seventy songs, and narrowed it down to thirty six songs from all different genres, generations, and mediums to create a tribute to the childhood fantasy and the idea of Happily ever after. To create the perfect princess, over the top villains and dashing heroes, we first started pouring over pictures of Broadway musicals, fantasy films, classical Disney, and about half way through i realized we were doing it all wrong. We weren't creating their idea of a fairy tale, we were creating ours. we were looking at all of the things we had grown up with, the things we thought of as being fantastical. Most of these kids had not even seen a Disney fairy tale in the theatres, because Disney hadn't made an original fairy tale based film since Beauty and the Beast. So i went back to the inspiration drawing board, and instead, started looking at the red carpet, the couture runway. I looked at magazine editorials, and ad campaigns. I looked at pop music, and turned to Madonna, Rihanna, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, and Britney Spears. I watched music videos. I tried to create a fantasy world that a 13 year old would look at and go this is beyond my wildest dreams, I never would have thought of that. Then to make it even more accessible, we bought everything from Macys, H&M, Ross, Forever 21, Urban Outfitters. I wanted the kids to be able to wear something they could have bought or found themselves in a way that they would never have imagined. I have never worked with a group of kids who was so excited about a show, or about getting to wear a costume. to see the surprise and shock and excitement on their faces every day when they go to get ready was truly special. I have also never seen an audience react to something in such a way, I knew that Jeremy and i had created something special when on opening night, people were buzzing before the show even started based on our set alone, and at intermission all people wanted was to go back inside and watch the second half.

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.

My final show with the Delta Academy for the Performing Arts. I was so excited when they decided to do this swinging tribute to the 60s, i have always been a huge fan of all things from the 50s and the 60s, i feel like it was truly America's golden age. To be honest for this production we took a lot of inspiration from Mad Men, which if you haven't seen it, is one of the most brilliant shows on television. I decided that i wanted to paint a version of the 60s that was sleek and chic. I looked at Mad Men, and Down With Love, I also looked at The Audrey Hepburn classics, and Rock Hudson Doris Day flicks. I researched Barbie dolls that came out in the era, i also took inspiration from the pop art of the time, with its bold lines and graphic patterns. My goal was to create a chic and sexy environment that was totally classic 60s. It was so nice to see all of the girls in classy pencil skirts and blouses, and Chanel style jackets, and all the guys in suits. Teenagers these days so often don't dress up, that it was great to see them step outside of themselves and take on a different attitude.

The Cocktail Hour

My second production with the Hapgood Theatre Company, and it was another great experience. This is a piece about a WASP family in upstate New York, I had such a fun time reading the WASP handbook, and researching that way of life. It was nice to create almost a portrait of Americana. The 70s was such a garish time period that it was fun to find the sophisticated elements of the era to dress this family. I looked at a lot of Ralph Lauren, and Tommy Hilfiger, i looked over pictures of the Kennedy's' to find just the right blend. I also had the joy of getting to help with some of the set dressings, and painting the floor treatment. As a designer this was great because i was able to pick things that showcased and highlighted the costumes we were using. everything we picked enhanced everything else. it was such a joy to be a part of the design process for the entire production.

Bye Bye Birdie

My first production with South Bay conservatory. if you haven't noticed i will jump on anything that gives me the opportunity to go vintage. The funnest thing for me about this production is i was given an opportunity to throw the old conventional idea of Bye Bye Birdie out the window. South Bay Conservatory's program works with elementary and middle school kids, which proposes a challenge but is most often a joy because we get to go outside the box and design a show that fits this age group, and what is appropriate for them. For Birdie that meant getting rid of the Capri's and opting for a much sweeter whole some version of sweet apple. We took out anything that could be considered cheesy or a sight gag, and went for things that were genuine, i also went really simple with my color pallet to showcase the kids and not distract from their performance. for "put on a happy face" and Conrad's fan club i created a look reminiscent of the Mickey Mouse Club. Rosie was my pride and joy, the character is usually dressed very sexy, and career minded, I mean she was played Chita Rivera, Vanessa Williams, and Gina Gershon. those women drip sexuality. At SBC our Rosie was played by an eleven year old girl, who mature beyond her years, should not be dripping in sexuality. So I got to look at the character and re-analyze her, and found a strong confident women who wants to take care of the man she loves. So we started her off in career minded clothes, and slowly dressed her in softer more feminine clothing as the show went on, I looked to Jackie O for my inspiration, and found the perfect balance. Conrad Birdie was another character I got the chance to re-imagine. Because a 13 year old would look silly in Elvis' sexy jumpsuits, we chose to pull inspiration from some of the other rock stars of the 50s and the 60s. I looked at Bobby Darin, James Dean, and the Beatles, I also drew inspiration from Link Larkin of Hairspray fame. This production was truly special to me, because of my love of the 50s and 60s, and I was given a chance to pay tribute to a fabulous era.

thank you.

normally i like to tell people privately how thankful i am for them in my life, but this year all of my friends, and family (blood or otherwise) have stepped up to the plate and been so amazing and shown me how much love there is in my life that i had to shout it from the rafters. in a time where i could see no silver lining, and no light at the end of the tunnel was visible something amazing happened. my friends. to every single person who came up to me, or texted me, or called me, or gave me a hug, thank you. i will never be able to fully express how much it made a difference to me. every day when i couldn't figure out how i was going to make it another one, one of you came up to me in some way and asked if i was ok. thank you so much.

Robert - you have always been there for me with a shoulder to lean on and a hug. you told me the things i needed to hear, and the things i didn't. you supported me no matter what choices i made, and always gave me the best advice you could. you also gave me something to look forward too. i don't know what i would do with out you best friend, and i am so proud to have you in my life.

Danny - my brother. what can i say about you that could even begin to let you know how much i love you. when i called you at midnight and said im moving back home let's get a place together, you immediately said yes, and helped to find us a place. anytime i need someone, i know i can count on you. you are the best roommate i have ever had, you make me smile and laugh, and i don't feel like i am living with a roommate, i feel like i am living with family. when my brother died, i thought that i would never get another brother, but luckily for me, god gave me you. you are my family and nothing will ever change that.

Melanie - my sister. thank you for making me a part of your family, and making me ben's godfather. i don't know if i have told you how honored and special i felt to be given that gift. i can not believe that i have known you since i was 10, i am so glad that our friendship has blossomed into what it is today. you have always been there, whether i call you crying on the phone, or show up on your doorstep in the pouring rain. i never felt like i was asking to much or in the way when i was with you, i felt like i was with my family and where i belonged.

Wester - my brubbie. you make me laugh and smile, you always know exactly what to say and when to say it. it saddens me that we are so far apart, but i think of you every day in some way or another, and you have always been by my side. thank you brubbie.

Kathie - i honestly can never thank you enough for the gifts you have given me, and continue to give me. As a child, You, Alex, Ali, and CTN gave me a home, and made me feel like i was special, and gifted. you taught me that i had a gift worth sharing, and to never do anything less than my best, because not only would i be cheating myself, but i was cheating others. you pushed me to try new things, and tried to send me on a path of success. you have always been supportive and proud of every accomplishment no matter how great or how small. i want you to know with every job, with every success, with every show, i have looked at my work and wondered if you and Alex would be proud, and if the answer is yes, i know i have done a good job. Then this year when i had nothing, and was starting fresh, you gave me the chance to yet again succeed. Working with you, and for you has been a highlight and a blessing. this summer i felt worthless, i had no idea what i was going to do, or how my life was going to turn out, and you gave me something to look forward too. what could have been a disaster has turned into a dream because you welcomed me back into the family, and gave me a chance. i hope that i continue to make you and Ali proud. please know how much it means to me, and how special you are to me.

Jaq Jaq - i have never worked with a nicer person. you made everyday working at urban a total joy. i hope you know how thoughtful and talented and wonderful you are. you always knew when i was upset, and listened to everything i had to say, and gave me the best advice i could ask for. i miss you terribly, and hope that you are being treated the way you deserve to be treated because you are a rare treasure.

Chachi - i have never laughed so hard with someone, you were always a breath of fresh air and a joy to work with. thank you for making me smile and laugh during a time when i didn't think it was possible. you always surprised me.

Donny - you can make me feel better without saying anything at all. i know sometimes we butt heads, and i am hard on you, but it is because i love you so much. i want so much for you to be happy, and to have the things that you deserve. i don't say it enough but i am so proud of you, and think you have grown into a fantastic man, i can't believe you are the same shy boy i met soph year. i hope you always will speak your mind to me, because i cherish your thoughts.

Josy - thank you, thank you, thank you. thank you for believing in me, and giving me a chance to grow in my craft. i have never worked with such an amazing and talented director as you. thank you for always letting me try something different and new. thank you for making me feel a part of your family, and welcoming me into your life. from the moment i met you i knew i had an amazing friend, who i hope will be a part of my life for ever. thank you for being someone i could call to talk too, and dropping everything to be with me in my time of need. you were a shoulder to cry on, a ear that listened, and a true friend when i felt i had no one to talk too. i am so blessed to have met you.

Jason - thank you for believing in me, even though you didn't always understand my methods, or my ideas. i know that you took a chance on me, and i will be forever grateful, when i came to Antioch, i was following someone on his dream, when i left Antioch not only did i learn that i was capable of doing amazing things, but i found my own dreams, and i have you to thank. your friendship and support mean the world to me.

Christy, Gina, and L. Heck - thank you for giving me the chance to work with your children. thank you for welcoming me into your school, and your community. so many times in my two years at Delta you thanked me for the work that i did, but i don't know if i ever truly thanked you for what you did for me. when i left NY i was a party boy, i arrived in Antioch with out a purpose, and had no idea how i would be recieved. You all made me feel welcome, and valued. i came to Antioch a party kid, and i left it an adult. thank you so much for the impact you made on my life.

my Delta kids - you all mean the world to me, i have never had a harder goodbye than the one i had to give to you. not a day goes by that i don't think about you guys. Thank you so much for making me a part of your school and your family, i see the pride you have in your school, and i am honored that you let me be a part of it. one of the reasons i always worked so hard, and tried to do so much, is because i see all of you, and i believe that you deserve nothing less than the best, and to feel like i gave you less than my best, to feel like i might disappoint you in anyway was one of my biggest fears, i hope that i am always someone that you can look up too. i hope that you all know how talented and amazing you are, because i know from the bottom of my heart that if you guys try your best you will go as far as you want too.

Papa Bunny - i want you to know that your kind words, and your friendship mean the world to me. you have reminded me countless times that i am someone who is worth the best that life has to offer. thank you for making me feel special even when we are a thousand miles apart.

Christian - last summer at Sandy's wedding when we got in the car you said to me "you're my cousin and i love you know matter who you love" i don't think you know how much that meant to me, you are my family, and i miss you and think of you every day. i am sorry we have grown apart for what ever the reasons are, but those couple days with you and mark were the best days of my summer because i felt like i was a part of the family again. thank you.

i hope everyone is surrounded by loved ones during this holiday season. i have more love in my life than i know what to do with. thank you.

moments like this never last.

Across my lower back it says "moments like this never last". Most people look at it and assume because of it's placement on my body, and my sexual preference that it is about having sex. they would be wrong. If life has taught me anything it's to enjoy what you have, when you have it, because you never know when it will be gone. When I was seven, I was in a car accident with my mother, and my brother, and my brother didn't survive. I learned at a very young age what loss of a loved one felt like, and I lost many others. The one thing I learned is to enjoy every second, try not to spend time fighting, or being angry. Go out and live life, take pictures, and create memories with as many people as you can. Make an impact on peoples lives, and let them know you care about them. Tell the people you care about you love them, and tell them often. Because you never know when they will be gone, and you can't live your life in the what if.

If you had asked me this time last year what I thought I would be doing, and where i would be, I would have had several thoughts, ideas, and answers. they all would have been wrong. It's funny because just when you think you've got life figured out, that bitch pulls a fast one and changes the game on you. But, it is what it is, so here I am.

In February my relationship with my partner fell apart, and by June he had decided to move on to someone else. It took a really long time for me to realize that it was over, if I had been smart, i would have left in February. Tell me though, when has love ever been smart? So I took the risk, and stuck it out for as long as there was something worth sticking it out for. What's funny is the difference my relationship with him has made on my life. When I met him, I had come out of a serious relationship, and i thought i will never love again. I thought I could never trust again. I would never be able to open my heart to someone again. Now, I know different. I know that the right guy is out there for me, and I have only come closer to finding the kind of relationship I want and deserve. While i was in conservatory in New York, I used to frustrate my teachers, because they would ask me if there was anything that had ever hurt or disappointed so bad that it made me cry, and i would simply say no. I don't believe in crying. they would laugh and ask me what i meant, and i would tell them that I thought crying was a waste of time, because when you cry your entire body focuses on crying and it can't do anything else, it can't solve anything, it can't fix anything. I believed that with my whole body and heart. Well, I can now say that I have been that hurt, and been that disappointed where all I could do is cry, and I did. Did it solve anything, did it fix anything, no. But, I finally realized, that is because there was no other option. There was nothing to solve, and nothing to fix, and so i cried.

I will never forget what it felt like to pack up my first real home. To go through my things and wrap them, and stick them into boxes. To decide what was mine and what was his. I packed up three years of my life into twenty-three boxes. I said good bye to an apt I loved, because for the first time it wasn't an apt, it was a HOME. It was a place where we held parties. We picked out furniture to make it just right. We debated over paintings, and vases, and knick-knacks to make it ours. It was a place I was proud of. I remember the morning I said goodbye, the morning I moved out and left, I looked around the bedroom totally empty, nothing left in it, and cried. When he asked me why, I said because last night this was our room, this was our home, and now it's just an apt, there is no sign I was ever here. That morning when we woke up for the last time, he wrapped his arms around me and he held me one last time, he placed his face against the back of my neck for the last time. That will always be the last memory I have him. That moment, even though for weeks we had fought and been filled with such a sadness and an anger, that last embrace is what I will carry with me.

When I talk to friends and they ask me if I hate him, or if I blame him, I simply can not. To carry around that kind of hate and anger for someone you so deeply cared about, is a poison. I wish I could say that I don't ever feel hate, or anger towards the people who have hurt me, but sometimes I do, and I am working on that. I hope one day that my heart is so full of love, that there is no room for hate in it. People will come in and out of your lives, but few make an impact that will stay with you forever. I am thankful for the things I learned while I was with him, and I will remember all the good things, but as with any relationship it is time to move on; and so I have, and so I will.

- KS