Brittany S. Pierce: words to live by.

I love Glee. I am a gleek. but my favorite thing about Glee isn't the musical numbers, or that it's bringing theatre to the masses. It's Heather Morris' character Brittany S. Pierce. She is the highlight of my week, the writers have created a goldmine in her, and i adore every backwards retarded statement she makes. Here are some of my favorites from season one and two :)

Mr. S - can anyone tell me what a ballad is?

B - a male duck

so, Hairography. It works best when you pretend like you're getting tasered. So you just move your head around and pretend like you're spazzing and stuff. You guys, it's like cool epilepsy.

S - Sex is not Dating.

B - if it were, Santana and I would be dating.

S - I'm pretty sure you have to do what we say, and this was not satisfactory.

B - There was a mouse in mine.

Sometimes I forget my middle name.

Did you know that Dolphins are just gay sharks?

When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist.

Guess who I'm dating, Wes Brody, he's super cute, he plays soccer with my sister, he's seven.

Sometimes i add a teaspoon of sand.

I'm pretty sure my cat has been reading my diary.

I've been here since first period. I had a cold and took all my antibiotics at the same time, and now I can't remember how to leave.

I don't know how to turn on a computer.

So you're pretty much the only guy in this school that I haven't made out with, because I thought you were captial G Gay, but now that you're not, having a perfect record would mean a lot to me. So, let me know if you want to tap this.

You look terrible. I look awesome.

People thought I went on vacation but actually, I spent the summer lost in the sewer.

She is the one they made me talk to when they found out I was keeping that bird in my locker.

I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist.

this room looks like the one on that spaceship where I got probed.

I hope you will all respect that I want Glee club to remain a place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears.

Please don't pull out my teeth. When I smile I'll look like an adult baby, but with boobs.

The roads to the north pole are getting treacherous... even the smallest envelope is heavy for an elf.

To be honest I don't know the difference between an elf and a slave.